Do it for the health, not for the anxiety.

“ Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are
strong in spirit.” 3 John 1:2

“ Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are
strong in spirit.” 3 John 1:2

Brooke

Health is thrown around in so many spheres—relationally, mentally, emotionally,
physically. You can get lost in a never-ending Google search about what it means to be
“healthy.” So what does it mean to be “healthy in body as you are strong in the spirit”?
When you look at scripture, Jesus talked a whole lot about not being anxious or
worrying and that applies to all areas of life, including how we think, take care of and
engage our bodies. You don’t have to look around for longer than a hot second to know
that pretty much everything you read about health is anxiety inducing. From “healthier
recipes” to “best work outs for weight loss,” it can feel like everything you are doing
isn’t enough or what you should be doing.
When John says to be “healthy in body,” what do you think he means? Best swim suit
body condition? Comfortable in my favorite pair of skinnies? Or something that doesn’t
rely on how my clothes fit or what my belly looks like when I sit down?
Jesus was a man who paid attention. He was in the moment—from noticing people that
others walked past to taking care of the immediate needs of those around him. I believe
we are invited into this calling too—being people who pay attention. We are to notice
those who appear to be outsiders, to care for those within and outside our fold and to
speak up when things aren’t as they should be. But we are also invited to notice
ourselves—who we were created to be.
Part of knowing and loving yourself is being honest about who you are, and your body is
a part of that. What does your body want and need today? That could mean ice cream
for breakfast or a green smoothie (or BOTH). Would a walk outside be helpful? Or
attending a Zumba class with a friend? Do you need to take a nap or pull out your yoga
mat?
Navigating our health by worldly rules can be appealing because it allows us to zone out
and simply do what others say is best. Do this, not that. Go here, not there. Eat this, not
that. Say this . . . you get the idea. But by doing so, we miss out on the practice of loving
ourselves, of paying attention to the current body we are in, admitting what that body
needs and allowing that to be okay. So say yes to your booty workout but not out of
guilt or anxiety. And if you love butternut squash, get it! Just don’t feel like you have to
do whatever everyone else is doing to be “healthy.”
Your version of a healthy body is going to look different than others. And that’s
beautiful! Loving yourself means noticing yourself. If Jesus does it, I think we should too.

Fried Chicken or a Fried Soul- Just my heart felt thoughts.

4DDC02AB-BE70-4E2D-80B2-4FC5B19D4A7F.jpg

What a dark web we weave when we take no notice of the damaged soul we care not to nurture when we are not real about ourselves or our flaws. When we ignore our purpose and grasp on to others, I often wonder how well we would be able to help each other as a generation operating in our calling.

In the past two years, I have been this odd, yet unregretted, open book. Now, this is a challenge for many, and that is entirely understandable. I am far from perfect, yet I am always progressing. See there is a massive difference in accepting the sin, the brokenness and struggles versus acknowledging it and still fighting it. We often worry about more of how we package our flaws more than we are searching for a place to release it. 
I don’t know sisters… 

Today I may be rambling nevertheless at the same time I may be helping someone see that you can’t keep pretending to be something you aren’t because after while your slip will show. Sadly to say, those who love the fake you will never enjoy the real you. Its simple it’s the law of attraction people are attracted to people just like them some may shy away from people like them because it reminds them of who they are inside.

Losing people may be your fear, but if you don't allow that to cause you to lose your focus, you will come to find that it is much more freeing. Freeing to be who you were designed to be an original. We have to begin to evaluate our souls daily, weekly as to who we are meant to be versus the version of we who we are creating ourselves to be. 

Fried chicken or a fried soul. Fried soul meaning your destiny is being consumed by all the things you do that isn’t your purpose, the fried chicken metaphor of choosing what tastes (looks) good but isn’t always right for you. I leave you with these words. 

We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith;  if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach;  if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
— -Romans 12:6-8

 

Trust me, sisters I am on this journey with, I ask myself daily is this what I am supposed to be doing or have I based my calling off what  someone else is doing or something that distracted me along the way to my destiny. 

Be encouraged. 

Meka 

Sisters of the fight.: A letter to women who triumph over mental disorders.

Nevertheless, after the lows, we will still find hope because no matter what there will forever be hope. We will grab hope in our children eyes, in our spouses smile, in small achievements. We will find hope in good pizza, a great book and merely making it through the day. We will discover hope in the perfect song, a funny movie and the joy that only God can give. We will find hope in our favorite scripture or quote; we will find hope that God breath in us to see another day. We will find hope in the new friends to come and the ones who left.  We will find hope in art created, craf

Read More

Two Broken Hearts can Love Part III-

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. 
-Psalms 147:3

Our love was nothing like we see on our social media for so many couples- the extravagant proposals, the gorgeous weddings and the infamous quote of, "I married my best friend." under each picture. I had married my thorn, the man I lusted over for years. I was lying next to a man I barely got along with, and regret begins to seep in, and I allowed it. Though in public I hid it well, yet within I was fighting an internal battle greater than one I had ever faced- myself. 

Having to live with all the choices we had made had all caught up with us, and at this point even if our hearts wanted to love entirely- they couldn't muscle up the strength. 

So, here my beautiful people is where the happy beginning comes in, here is where we begin to see God in our marriage working. Here's the secret to how we are making it and thriving.  
Drumroll....
We brought him our brokenness because where two broken-hearted people are there he will meet them.  The confession was the hardest part. We went through a season after we had Kaydence that begin to band us together. She became our, "Lovechild."  We had to be ok with being unburdened because the burdens we carried had become our safety nets.  But after the confession God begin to heal us- regret, shame, adultery, secrets that have laid dormant for years all had to come to the surface in order to embarrass the new.

So we did it again, September 2017 before my husband deployed, right in the middle of the healing, we renewed our vows. We did it together- we created the menu, I finally had a wedding gown, and in love & new covenant we worked together.  We laughed together as we decorated our home for the guess who had RSVP. We bonded as we wrote our vows and enjoyed each other company.
 All this begin to teach us that love has never been about us trying to keep it all to ourselves nor is it about us creating the charity to be what we envision it to be. Reminding us in his word about love:

“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” - I Corinthians 13:5
7G3A5984.jpg

 

That night as we renewed our vows tears fell as I recited my vows to him. I ended with saying,  "Thank you for always coming home." May I leave you with this, when we are bickering and fighting with those we love, we forget something- their freedom of choice. Our spouses never have to return to us; they never have to choose us everyday. They never have to remain in love with us. ( Yes, I know what the bible says about marriage-but remember God gives us all free will) 

That night as I stood in front of my husband, looking past the imperfections and the pain he may have inflicted and I in return. I saw a love so clear from his heart to mine because every time he turned the key to our home- he was choosing to love me again and again. 
Love.....
"It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. "

Thanks for reading this series. 
Love you guys tremendously, 
Meka

Two Broken Hearts can love- Part II

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. I John 4:16

 

February 20th, 2016, here we are me- 4 months pregnant standing on the beach saying I do. Standing there, hand in hand we knew it wasn't as much about love as it was for our selfish reasons. I didn't want to raise Kaydence without her dad and he I'm not sure- lol. 

Our first wedding.

 

One thing I know we both desired to get our house in order. We loved God, and neither one of us wanted to separate.  We knew that way of living wasn't pleasing to God.  Eric had given his life to Christ since he had been to Hawaii after ten years of running and I, on the other hand, desired to turn in my badge of the professional backslider and seriously make it right with God. 

After our I dos we had lunch with relatives and returned to our apartment to half deflated air mattress. We argued that night because this was not how a wedding night was supposed to be. Indeed this argument was a cover-up for all we were feeling inside- uncertainty, scared and broken.

I can attest that I had so much anger in my heart. I mean wouldn't you- recently divorced, jump back into marriage, miscarriage in July and now pregnant again. No matter how much people tried to encourage me, I couldn't see God in this. 

Upon finishing marital counseling, I still was uneasy about being married for the second time, because the bible talks about not remarrying when your first spouse is still alive. Boy did that eat me up day and night, night and day. I went to so many people for their Godly insight as well forums on the internet. Even those who shared with me that we were ok, I couldn't find peace. The discussions on the internet seem to have damned us to hell.  Were people judging Eric and I  or was it just me being the judge of this marriage?

Was it just me magnifying being remarried so that I wouldn't have to see the real issues. The main problem, which was that we were two broken hearts trying to beat as one. Nevertheless, no matter how bad the fights had gotten, we stayed all in. I had threatened my husband so many times with the word divorce, that didn't phase him. Our first year of marriage was an emotional rollercoaster with all sorts of outside sources on the ride- past relationships, my husband other kids, family drama and work stress. We had everything draining us and was unable to see what was going on within in each other. 

And one day in all of this going through my heart and mind- I prayed without ceasing. I plugged in and got involved at church. I journaled to God, and I choose love every day. Regardless of what my inner man was warring with- I choose Eric. And he was patient with me as I was with him. 

Marriage battles are hard to overcome without allowing Gods way of loving to rule in our hearts. Yes, there are billions of people who do not believe in God and say that they love, often the love they have can be contingent upon how that person makes them feel. That's not how God love operates- he sticks it out with us through the good and bad and in return we must do the same. I admit in my first marriage I was selfish and only wanted the feel-good love all the time.  In marriage, it has to be a love that shows up time and time again, a charity that is made up of steal that doesn't give up without a fight. A love that causes us to see the beauty in the ashes and extend grace in an underserving situation.  For a marriage like mines, this is the love we needed a love that would go through the fire. 

“But you must return to your God; maintain love and justice, and wait for your God always.” - Hosea 12:6

 


Stay tuned for the Part III. 

Two Broken Hearts can Love: Part I

My Sailor & I
I will make you my wife forever,
showing you righteousness and justice,
unfailing love and compassion.
I will be faithful to you and make you mine,
and you will finally know me as the LORD.
-Hosea 2:19-20

I will start off by saying love is definitely not always kind. I mean if that were the case there wouldn't be so many parts to it in the word of God. At some point, we have to experience every part of it- the kindness, the gentleness, the patience and the long-suffering. There will be some areas of love that we will linger in longer than others.

I had known Eric ten years before we said, "I do.'' I can admit that 90% of that time he wasn't kind or gentle to me. We were both undoubtedly two broken souls. Love was far from what we knew, though we longed for it, we knew nothing about it. So we made it up as we went along and that cause a lot of devastation, countless broken hearts, and hardship toward others as well as ourselves. 

We would get together for weekend rondevus because one thing he and I had in common was the nightlife. We both were dancers and loved to look good and dance all night long. We would party until 5 in the morning. After those party-filled weekends, I wouldn't hear from him again until it was time to party again. He was a lady's man, and I knew it yet that didn't stop me from seeing him.  

I wasn't perfect and so unaware of my worth. I loved him and the chase- while being totally unaware of what it was doing to my heart. I was the jealous type.  He had experienced the dangerous temper that can come out of me. A rage that would cause me to jump into strangers' cars when I found him in there with another woman and purposely crashing into his vehicle. ( Dear God, thanks for grace!Lol) 
Ten years of dating and driving each other crazy the only person who ever said I love you was me. My confession of love was continuously addressed by silence on his end. One night, when he was tired of me nagging about returning the love, he turned to me in a loud bar and yelled - He didn't love me, and that wouldn't be the last time I would hear that. 
I know it sounds crazy but I knew Eric loved me, we merely had glitches in both our system. We were both seeking love in all the wrong places. The people we hung with, family members who we longed to return the love, sex, and wild parties. We craved fixes that were always letting us down, and we both grew weary of love. 

THERE IS SO MUCH SWAY IN LOVE THAT WE DON’T SEE. THE POWER IT HAS TO RESTRAIN, THE INFLUENCE IT HAS TO CAUSE US TO RISK IT ALL FOR ONE. WHEN IT TAKES ITS RIGHTFUL PLACE IN US-NOT JUST IN OUR HEART-BUT IN OUR BLOOD, OUR NATURE AND OUR MOTIVES. WE WILL FIND IT HARD TO DO TWO THINGS- HURT OTHERS AND GO BACK TO BEING THE SAME.

-MEKA WEISE 

I know this all sounds depressing, but its reality for many people in love today- the imperfect love story. 

In the mist of our relationship, here's what I know about God, He has a purpose for everything just like he did for Gomer. So did he have a plan for Eric & I. The greatest mistake Eric and I made was not following God sooner. Until this day we can't say that we are the perfect couple or that we were written in the stars. However, we can say that we saved each other lives the day we said, "I do."; Because God knows where we would have been today if he was still chasing women and I was falling in and out of relationships. Just like Hosea & Gomer, our marriage was a sacrifice to save each other from a life that could have killed us. Our union has many glitches because just like people who have been in a war you come out with battle wounds, mental scares, and flashbacks. Nevertheless, every day we work toward it, falling in and out of love every now and again, choosing each other every day. 


I say, love, You don’t need nothing, Left them something
Worth fighting for, It’s a beautiful war.
-Kings of Leon

To be continued..... 

Happy Valentine's day, to my love Eric. Thanks for always being there and fighting this battle of love with me. 

For the Part II & III so don’t forget to subscribe!

Sexual Assault: Four Avenues to help your Sister Heal.

There I was again sitting in another office, to tell my story of how someone violated me. By the age 15, I had confessed to people about different encounters whether it was abuse- verbally or physically. People didn’t believe me, or maybe they did and decided that the last thing they wanted was to get involved. Nevertheless, here I am in a police station telling them of how two guys I knew had sexually assaulted me. I went because I had to although I had already had it in my heart that no one would believe me. My clothes were taken in for evidence, and I was interviewed. I watch the young men being brought in in handcuffs to be questioned-still didn’t give me any hope that this would end in justice. And sure, enough I was right. After leaving the police station, I never heard about it again. I sometimes wonder who decided that- my parents or the police. 

Recently, all of these thoughts rush back as I read about the Olympians who suffered for years under one man's abuse.  As I learned how they were hushed by those they trusted when they tried to open up about it. And though I am grateful to be healed today there is still a scar on my soul that can become irritated when I hear of another woman who is going through this. 

Thank God that many of us have encountered freedom through Christ that so many of these women have yet to be offered. After justice has been served, there is still so much healing that needs to take place. 
I know for those of us reading this, we may never encounter any of the 100s of women that were abused by that particular doctor. That doesn’t mean that we shrug our shoulders and forget that right next to us, behind us, in our workplace, our connect groups and our communities there are women just like them.

“One in six women will experience
attempted or completed rape, in their lifetime.”

For some us we may have had an encountered with women who have shared their story with us, it saddens us. However, we may not have been equipped to act past our empathy.
Today, I hope to offer you four avenues to reach out to women who are victims of sexual assault: 

1. Don’t be a pushover. Depending on the stage of where each woman is. She may not be able to talk about what she’s dealing with. Some people can go into anxiety attacks recalling their scenarios. Most women have PTSD after being sexually assaulted. 

Did you know that....
94% of women who are raped experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) during the two weeks following the rape.
30% of women report symptoms of PTSD 9 months after the rape.
33% of women who are raped contemplate suicide.
13% of women who are raped attempt suicide.
Approximately 70% of rape or sexual assault victims experience moderate to severe distress, a larger percentage than for any other violent crime. 

 

So, what can you do?  This question leads me to the second avenue. 

2.    Just be a friend. Be a friend with no agenda, be kind as well as authentic. There are trust issues that run deep, and the first sign showing that you can’t be trusted the person will build a wall. Pure friendships are healing to the soul The word says, “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.”- Proverb 27:9  Showing love, hanging out, being patient with them and loving them for who they are can be a breath of fresh air. An authentic relationship can help to open doors that will allow a woman to speak freely of what has happened to her. 


3.    Don’t push Jesus, share Jesus.  Following Jesus isn’t a sales pitch. And pushing him on people can sort of be harassing. In the four gospels, Jesus was an example to all by the way he lived, the way he fearlessly served God. He offered people a chance to follow and believe. You must be a living example of Christ, and you must lead in love. When people see how you handle things differently- your response will cause them to ask you questions, and then you can testify of his goodness. Your testimony of his goodness has the ability to change people’s hearts and create a desire to follow him. 


4.    Believe them. Who are we to tell someone their perception of something isn’t accurate. So if there comes a time where someone opens up to you about sexual, physical or mental abuse believe them. As people of God, it is up to us to not judge. So, trust in their words and offer them whatever help you can, even if it’s just going to the precinct as moral support.  

The reality is this; these four avenues may not work for everyone, I speak on what has encouraged me to succumb my fears and to embrace my freedom. You can be the one who places another sister on her journey toward healing. 

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
Galatians 6:2

I love you fearlessly. 


https://endsexualviolencect.org/resources/get-the-facts/national-statistics-on-sexual-violence/
https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

3 Natural Cold busters for Toddlers.

So, one goal I had this year was to take my family down a more holistic route especially when it comes to healing during sickness. When I turned 18 which seems eons ago,  I decided to not take cold medicine anymore. I wanted to see what natural elements would do for me such as tea, honey, vitamins, and water. 

The crazy thing is the first few times I became sick I found myself fighting and desiring the meds. Now again let me reiterate this was for colds- not for life threating illnesses. What I realized that after a few colds my body has what it needs within itself to heal through organic approaches. 

So, fast forward to my life now as a mom. I thought to take these approaches with my sweet and lively girl.  So of course, I headed to Pinterest to see what other moms are doing. 

Let’s say I am thankful for Pinterest and the results of the these three brilliant remedies I have put to the test. 

So here they go: 

1.    Golden milk. This one is so fast acting and can get a little messy as well.  It is bulletproof! The recipe is simply taking your child’s milk and warming it - whether microwave or stove. Next, you add a quarter teaspoon of turmeric. Next, you add a drop of honey. 
I gave this to my daughter at night. Here’s what has happened each time- she would vomit mucus. I know- ew! Nevertheless, it broke up congestion and allowed her to sleep at night. 

2.    Detox bath. I did this once a week. After filling with the appropriate amount of water, I add a tablespoon of Epsom salt. The amount of Epsom salt you use is up to you, I am bathing a toddler, so I felt a tablespoon was enough. I know, some mothers have added essential oils to their child bath.  I saved the essential oils for after. I would add essential oils to her pressure points as well as a natural chest rub by little remedies. Now here’s the con to this which is keeping the little rascal in the tub for at least 20 minutes. So, pull out the fun guns- books, sing songs, add bubbles if needed and all the bath toys you can find. There will be times you will just have to tell them to sit back down in the tub. 

3.    Natural cough syrups. I absolutely love Maty’s cough medicine. It’s not the tastiest. However, it is packed with a bunch of good immune fighters. I actually take it myself.  I also recommend Zarbees. Both products are made from natural ingredients such as honey being the main one in both. Honey as many of us know harnesses many great benefits, for colds it works as a natural effective cough suppressant. 


Although using these magnificent remedies, I still utilized Tylenol for fever.

(By the way, If you have a natural approach for fever, please list it in the comments.) 

I found Tylenol to be very helpful when you have a kid teething and fighting a cold at the same time. I also am a fan of the humidifier which I know really helped Kaydence breath and sleep well. 

What were my results in all of this- that my toddler was able to fight a cold without the need for other meds. A cold has to run its course; Nevertheless, I can attest that I did see Kaydence improve in 3 days and she carried on playing throughout the day without being sluggish.

So try these three remedies if you find your little one fighting a cold.

Send me feedback on your results or your opinion. 

Relationships matter

Dear Sistas,

 

I use to be afraid to take a stand for what was right and most importantly- taking a stand for myself. I wanted friends and didn’t want to be alone in life- no matter the cost. The energy for relationships had always seemed to come from my emotional bank and no one else.

 

 

I experienced a consistent loss in friends. Let's just say I had sour taste in friendships. For some reason after every bitter pill, It didn’t change how I picked my relationships-my boyfriends or friends. I always wanted to see the good in everyone, justifying because honestly all that seem to flock to me was broken people and men with no standards seem to all have my number. Was I the victim? Was it my fault? The answer is drumroll, please!

 

… Yes!

 

YES, Is an answer I had to finally receive in my heart and mind to change the course I was on.

 

To be honest, the first time we are let down it could have come unexpectantly yet other times especially by the same people we have to take responsibility. Taking responsibility has nothing to do with being hard on yourself as much as it has to do with being real with yourself. I’ve learned in those situations there were two things I lacked that was confidence and wisdom.

 

Now some of you may say well that’s not me I am a confident person or I have plenty of wisdom as I am a picky person. This confidence has nothing to do with us it has everything to do with God.

Sister sister

 

 

Placing our faith in God means we trust what he allows as well as we listen to him when he guides us in relationships. We are confident in him when we walk physically alone, reminding ourselves we aren’t alone because that feeling of loneliness can always get us in trouble.

Our wisdom comes from him teaching us initially who we should let in our lives. The knowledge causes us to think twice as it also causes us to not depend solely on relationships to feel validated.

 

Today, I desire to encourage you to seek God in love and all your decisions but especially who we let in. These situations are our choices, and we have to employ wisdom about people we let in that can hinder our destiny. It is indeed important that we seek him in all we do as well as those we call our tribe.

 

God honors relationships, and he wants us to do the same. The old saying is true, "not everyone is your friend," and we can’t always cry victim to those we have let into our lives.

Heres some scribes of wisdom from the greatest book:

“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

 

Proverbs 12:26

“Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: Wisdom preserves those who have it.”

Ecclesiastes 7:12

 

 

“So do not throw away your confidence, it will richly rewarded.”

Hebrew 10:35

 

It's okay to stand alone, and it's ok to be a people person. It's not ok to compromise whose you are and who you are to be accepted and loved. There's no age to this; some people learn this lesson in their 30s- like me. But the point is you get it.

 

 

 

Live and love, my beautiful sistas!

Live and love.

Meka Weise

The Art of Brokenness

Copy of 7DM_2033.jpg

Where do you first go when you are broken? Who is the person or thing that comes to mind for aid? And how have those options worked out for you? 


It’s inevitable sometimes to think rash in a hurtful situation or turn to the right people.  We seem to have a tendency to run to the first person we think of and spill our pain to them. Later, some of us may come to regret it, and some may wish they had waited before they took the persons’ advice. 

You know the advice that told you to do completely opposite of what was right, the suggestion from the one who can tend to be your “Yes, Man.” or better yet the rigid advice of the person who is just as broken as you. 
May I urge you from here on out to be careful with your brokenness. 
Do you know it is a part of you that God values? He tends to draw closer to us when we are broken. 

“The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”
-Psalms 51:17
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who spirits are crushed.”
-Psalms 34:18

Brokenness has a beauty to it that often only God can see, for any of us to see the beauty of it too we must look at it with our spiritual eyes. Therefore, it is imperative who we talk to in this season, because in this season God has a plan to heal you and make you whole. The wrong counsel can send us up ship creek without a paddle.

I was always naive to people who showed just a little attention to me or the even the slightest concerned. There has been much brokenness in my life and now today, I can say yup if I could I would change some things to be honest. Nevertheless, I am grateful for His mercy and grace. That while I was ignoring the path he was choosing for me, he still saw fit to watch over me. 

The four steps that I am confident God would like us to do in these times are ones that will also aid us at the beginning of this journey are: 

     1. Seek Godly counsel(Proverbs 15:22). 
     2. Speak out, don’t give into condemnation (II Corinthians 3:9). 
     3. Preserve (Psalms 19:13)
     4. Don’t take your eyes off Him (Psalms 86:11)


Today, may I encourage you to be cautious about where we spend your brokenness. Seek God in prayer first. One thing I never stopped doing even in my iniquity was fall on my knees and pray. No one is exempt there it’s the beginning of hearing and seeing Gods plan for you. It’s the beginning of him redirecting your footsteps and holding your brokenness as his own.  

“Pray, too, that we will be rescued from the wicked and evil people, for not everyone is a believer.”
II Thessalonians 3:2