I use to be afraid to take a stand for what was right and most importantly- taking a stand for myself. I wanted friends and didn’t want to be alone in life- no matter the cost. The energy for relationships had always seemed to come from my emotional bank and no one else.
I experienced a consistent loss in friends. Let's just say I had sour taste in friendships. For some reason after every bitter pill, It didn’t change how I picked my relationships-my boyfriends or friends. I always wanted to see the good in everyone, justifying because honestly all that seem to flock to me was broken people and men with no standards seem to all have my number. Was I the victim? Was it my fault? The answer is drumroll, please!
YES, Is an answer I had to finally receive in my heart and mind to change the course I was on.
To be honest, the first time we are let down it could have come unexpectantly yet other times especially by the same people we have to take responsibility. Taking responsibility has nothing to do with being hard on yourself as much as it has to do with being real with yourself. I’ve learned in those situations there were two things I lacked that was confidence and wisdom.
Now some of you may say well that’s not me I am a confident person or I have plenty of wisdom as I am a picky person. This confidence has nothing to do with us it has everything to do with God.
Placing our faith in God means we trust what he allows as well as we listen to him when he guides us in relationships. We are confident in him when we walk physically alone, reminding ourselves we aren’t alone because that feeling of loneliness can always get us in trouble.
Our wisdom comes from him teaching us initially who we should let in our lives. The knowledge causes us to think twice as it also causes us to not depend solely on relationships to feel validated.
Today, I desire to encourage you to seek God in love and all your decisions but especially who we let in. These situations are our choices, and we have to employ wisdom about people we let in that can hinder our destiny. It is indeed important that we seek him in all we do as well as those we call our tribe.
God honors relationships, and he wants us to do the same. The old saying is true, "not everyone is your friend," and we can’t always cry victim to those we have let into our lives.
Heres some scribes of wisdom from the greatest book:
“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
“Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: Wisdom preserves those who have it.”
“So do not throw away your confidence, it will richly rewarded.”
It's okay to stand alone, and it's ok to be a people person. It's not ok to compromise whose you are and who you are to be accepted and loved. There's no age to this; some people learn this lesson in their 30s- like me. But the point is you get it.
Live and love, my beautiful sistas!
Live and love.