“Because I feel that, in the Heavens above
The angels, whispering to one another,
Can find, among their burning terms of love
None so devotional as that of ‘Mother’”
– Edgar Allen Poe
It's 2 a.m., and I am slightly and selfishly furious with my daughter being awake. I had purposely stayed up late to get some things done. Any other night she would sleep through but just not tonight.
Please tell me I am not the only one who gets like this. Am I the only one who sometimes feels that motherhood can take from you, I dare not complain about being a mother because there are so many beautiful women out there yearning to be a mother. Yes, it does have its rewards, and at the same time, it has its sacrifices. I mean the beauty of your children little hands grabbing at you, the first time they say mama and the first time they crawl or walk are all things that causes us to welcome and honor the season of motherhood. These are all just the beginning of a beautiful path that God blessed us to walk upon.
Nevertheless, mamas let me tell you I totally understand yo
ur feelings of frustration when things don’t go the way you planned. You know how we carved out that time to read a book, do some work or just relax during their nap time. It's like they hear your thoughts and so they say abort nap. (Lol) These are times where we can see God in this, and we can perfect our character. Yes, perfect our character, through patience, love, and grace. Our children need grace too, even at this young age. We must exemplify the grace they need by curving our anger and frustration. Exercising grace teaches and prepares us for how to be quick to hear and slow to speak to our children and others.
That night at 2 am, I did murmur under my breath due to her impromptu wake up. However, when I came to her, I did opposite of what I wanted to. I cuddled her and comforted her in spite of what I was feeling. Isn’t that exactly what God does to us? Give us the love we need in spite of?
Motherhood has taught me a lot of things so far, but the most important thing it has taught me is to be careful in my reactions. What it would have done to my daughter to hear me say something angry and mean. Or to just lay next to her and not soothe her. What would it have done to her spirit? I mean how many times have we gotten out of the plans of God. Then in the middle of the night, we are sobbing and crying needing Him, despite us being in the wrong. He afforded us this grace. That same grace should bestow upon our children. With grace comes love and with love comes purpose, and our purpose is always to love as He does.
To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power.
Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow.” – Maya Angelou
(A mother growing in grace.)