Our love was nothing like we see on our social media for so many couples- the extravagant proposals, the gorgeous weddings and the infamous quote of, "I married my best friend." under each picture. I had married my thorn, the man I lusted over for years. I was lying next to a man I barely got along with, and regret begins to seep in, and I allowed it. Though in public I hid it well, yet within I was fighting an internal battle greater than one I had ever faced- myself.
Having to live with all the choices we had made had all caught up with us, and at this point even if our hearts wanted to love entirely- they couldn't muscle up the strength.
So, here my beautiful people is where the happy beginning comes in, here is where we begin to see God in our marriage working. Here's the secret to how we are making it and thriving.
We brought him our brokenness because where two broken-hearted people are there he will meet them. The confession was the hardest part. We went through a season after we had Kaydence that begin to band us together. She became our, "Lovechild." We had to be ok with being unburdened because the burdens we carried had become our safety nets. But after the confession God begin to heal us- regret, shame, adultery, secrets that have laid dormant for years all had to come to the surface in order to embarrass the new.
So we did it again, September 2017 before my husband deployed, right in the middle of the healing, we renewed our vows. We did it together- we created the menu, I finally had a wedding gown, and in love & new covenant we worked together. We laughed together as we decorated our home for the guess who had RSVP. We bonded as we wrote our vows and enjoyed each other company.
All this begin to teach us that love has never been about us trying to keep it all to ourselves nor is it about us creating the charity to be what we envision it to be. Reminding us in his word about love:
That night as we renewed our vows tears fell as I recited my vows to him. I ended with saying, "Thank you for always coming home." May I leave you with this, when we are bickering and fighting with those we love, we forget something- their freedom of choice. Our spouses never have to return to us; they never have to choose us everyday. They never have to remain in love with us. ( Yes, I know what the bible says about marriage-but remember God gives us all free will)
That night as I stood in front of my husband, looking past the imperfections and the pain he may have inflicted and I in return. I saw a love so clear from his heart to mine because every time he turned the key to our home- he was choosing to love me again and again.
"It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. "
Thanks for reading this series.
Love you guys tremendously,