There I was in the middle of my of dining room floor weeping, with my heart in my mouth about what I am feeling inside. That I don’t believe that I can stay at home with my beautiful daughter 24/7. Perched and wrenched in the midst of toys and unpacked boxes, losing my crap right now because it seems no one understands what I am enduring. I scream aloud, " I had a life before all of this, and now I am lost."
And here’s my answer to you and me, “To live!” Yup, that is it! That’s my answer to all of this. To live- to keep on living for today. Here’s why this has begun to cure some of my problems. To live means to discover, to embark on journies, to associate with others, to laugh, to cry, to make plans and watch them fall apart. Living means savoring the moment, and in these sacred moments, you will hear God speak! It happens just like it does in the movies- you have a thought or a moment where the questions that have haunted you begin to be answered.
It all starts with living one day at a time and conquering one question at a time all while still casting all you have on God. The instants of rebuilding are critical to us when we are here, broken down, and distraught. These moments can either take us entirely out or repair us. So, when you are there searching for her, engulfed in all that is encompassing and uprooting you. Can I urge you to follow these 3 small steps:
· Be careful with who you to speak to and don’t always be so quick to choose people who look and act like you. Find the opposers and the oldie but goodies who can impart Godly wisdom into your situation and provide more than a yes man.
· Go through it, no quick fixes here. Listen we live in a day and age where we want everything over with quickly, yet we find ourselves again in the same scenario down the road; that's because we didn’t allow ourselves to go through it. There are no shortcuts to a full recovery- the suffering, the rehabilitation and the birth of a new perspective, to which none of these steps can be negated.
· Be honest. You may come to a point at the end where you have to accept change that is happening in your life. I mean as I arrived at the end of my recovery, I found myself enrolling my toddler into preschool for 2 days a week. I realized that marriage counseling is necessary and that my faith needs some reconstruction. All of these discoveries came with one of the most powerful things we can ever gift ourselves, and that is honesty.
We have all been lost in this world especially within ourselves. We have taken on so much that we forget that we have a purpose too. And we have to respect that about ourselves that we are not going to do and live the way the other woman lives. No shaming ourselves because you can't be the stay at home mom and no ridiculing if you fancy being the stay at home mom. This world is moving because we are all doing our part. And the life that God has created for you is beckoning you to lose yourself in him and remember he created us all for a purpose.
“Make a careful exploration of who you are and
the work you have been given,
and then sink yourself into that.
Don’t be impressed with yourself.
Don’t compare yourself with others.
Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can
with your own life.”
Galatians 6:4-5 (MSG)
I pray today that you find yourself in the mist of growth and acknowledgment that whatever day you are having you will see her again, and you will lose her again. That’s how butterflies are created. That's how God molds a warrior. Reminds us, Lord, that grace is always there at the end.
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